2Face - Blood on the Dance Floor

Chris Ihidero Unedited: Have You Seen My Childhood?

I was recently one of the judges at the end of term debate night of one of the top private secondary schools in Lagos and I was rudely reminded of how different one childhood can be from another. The lush green fields, the well-built infrastructure, the well-mannered students, the general orderliness of the place and the people within it, the obvious encouragement and support given to the students to aid them in achieving their full potentials…: this was a world away from the school/boarding house I went to a few decades ago.
I was 7 years old and in Primary 3 when my mum planned the coup that led to my going to the boarding house (See last week’s piece for details.) My school, Sanni Luba Nursery/Primary School was located in Ijebu-Ode, Ogun-State. By the standards of the 80s it was a good school; actually one of the best in Ogun-State, academically.
Before my parents left on my first day in the school, I had torn my first set of Khaki shorts on the football field. In fact, I waved goodbye to my parents from the field and my mom was stunned. I guess she had expected tears and some tugging at her dress or something. I couldn’t be bothered. Two weeks later, all my provisions had either been stolen or consumed. I had only one left out of three pairs of school uniform. My pillow had taken a walk from underneath my head while I was sleeping one night. My books now belonged to other people. On many nights, I cried and called out for my mummy in audible whispers. The whole dormitory laughed out loud, in unison.
In a couple of months I caught up with the flow of how things were done in the concentration camp reality that was masquerading as a primary/secondary school boarding house. I no longer bothered about the whereabouts of my school uniform. I simply took whatever was available on the clothe line in the morning after successfully having a bath, usually with a quarter bucket of water. I was never able to make it to breakfast early and always had my food unfinished when the bell rang for morning assembly. So I devised a system: My remaining Pap goes into the right pocket and the Akara goes into the left pocket. With them intact, I ran to the assembly like a good boy. At the assembly I waited till time for the national anthem to consume my food. Arise O compatriots [right hang goes into right pocket, scoops substantial amount of pap], Nigeria’s call obey [Left hand goes into pocket and cuts a piece of Akara]; To serve our fatherland [contents of both hands transferred to the mouth]. My recitation was done for the day.
I had my first girlfriend in Primary 4, aged 8. Her cousin had accidentally stepped on me and I had threatened to kill her. In utmost fear for her life she gathered a few friends and family, including my to-be girlfriend, to come beg. I lost interest in killing her the moment I saw Busola but I wasn’t going to let my reputation as Chris-the-menace suffer so I said nothing to her. 24 hours later I cornered her in an empty classroom and made her an offer she couldn’t refuse. With my very black face hardened to maximum, I declared: “I Love You. Do You Love Me?!” Of course she said YES! Thus began our romance. We didn’t do much, to be frank, but everybody knew Busola was my girl and on the day she allowed me hold her hand, I stood in the middle of my dormitory and announced this to resounding applause, like a boss.
My first suspension from school came in Primary 4. My school had about 15 fish ponds and we were sternly warned never to swim in them as people had drowned before. I didn’t know how to swim but was pretty sure I couldn’t drown; therefore the rule did not apply to me. Off to swim I went with my immediate elder brother who had joined my eldest brother and I at the boarding house by then. Unfortunately, the school proprietor, Alhaji Ambali Olubamowo Sanni, drove by and that same evening my brother and I, escorted by one of our hostel wardens, were put on a Molue from Ijebu-Ode to Lagos, with our neatly typed suspension letters in our pockets. Of course, everyone at home blamed ME for leading my ELDER brother into temptation, as if I dragged him into the water.
This was the first in a total of 16 suspensions and expulsions I gathered in my 10 years in boarding school. It was also one of only two my parents ever heard about.
Have you seen my childhood?
N.B Next week, I shall tell you about my first riot in school, our ‘unique children’s game’ and how I left Busola for Sola in JSS 2…she was the P.E teacher’s daughter, spoke rotten English but holds the world record for the owner of first set of boobs I freed from imprisonment…BOOM!

Justin Bieber fined for tattooing without a license

Justin Bieber is apparently busted for tattooing without a licence.

The 19-year-old Baby hitmaker is armed with a needle as he etches a cartoon portrait of a muscled mouse and the word ‘Swaggy’ on a man’s calf in a photo obtained by the New York Daily News.

The brave man appears to be Bang Bang, real name Keith McCurdy, a Manhattan-based tattoo artist who has inked big names like Rihanna, Chris Brown and Katy Perry.

Photos show the pair posing after Justin finished the job, with Keith pointing to his calf and Justin sporting plastic wrap around his arm after getting a fresh tattoo of his own.

Justin reportedly had the word ‘Believe’ tattooed on his right forearm during the same session in June 2012.

According to the publication, the pop star could face a $2,000 fine from the New York City Health Department if he was unlicenced when he tattooed his pal.

Other stars have inked Bang Bang in the past, including his client Rihanna.

The S&M singer famously etched the letter ‘R’ onto the artist in 2009. His shop East Side Ink was subsequently fined for ‘operating with an unlicenced tattoo artist on site’.

The tattoo drama is the latest in a string of controversies for Justin.

The teenage crooner has been accused of assaulting a fellow resident of his gated Los Angeles community and is currently being investigated by local police.

He’s also been slammed for attempting to smuggle a pet capuchin monkey through customs in Germany earlier this month. The primate was seized after Justin failed to secure proper paperwork and remains in quarantine in the country.

Justin recently spoke to Teen Vogue about the scandal surrounding him as of late.

‘I know who I am, and I’m very much in control. I don’t need to address every speculation,’ he said.

Nicki Minaj & Lil Wayne get sexy & steamy in new video

Nicki Minaj spills out of her low-cut basque as she romps with Lil Wayne in her new music video.

The saucy star wears the figure hugging undies for a steamy scene with heavily tattooed rapper in the promo for the pair’s collaboration High School.

The couple play high school sweethearts who rob a rich drugs baron and run away together in the clip.

But the 30-year-old Starships singer — who is signed to Lil Wayne’s Young Money label – revealed that he was the perfect gentleman while filming the raunchy scenes.She said: “He refused to touch me. He’s so respectful.. and then I was like, ‘Wayne, you can touch certain parts!’ But he was acting scared. He was like, ‘Yo Nick, this is my dream, I’mma be the man after this video.
“He was just acting crazy, but if I didn’t tell him, ‘Yes, you can touch me, do this’, whatever, like, he refused to touch me. He’s a Southern gentleman, which people don’t realise.”

Comedienne Princess To Wed On May 8

Popular Nigerian entertainer Princess Damilola Adekoya is off the market.
The widely-loved plus-sized comedienne, who mixes satire, self-deprecation, slapstick, mimicry, and freestyle skit to create a brand of stand-up comedy uniquely hers, told NET last night in Lagos, that she’s found love, and can’t wait to tie the knot.
Princess and her partner ‘Ade’ will exchange wedding vows in Lagos on Wednesday May 8 which is Princess’ birthday. The upcoming wedding will happen seven days after Princess’ Shades Of Comedy concert, holding at the MUSON centre on May 1.
In a brief interview, she tells us: ‘I’ll say we’ve known since 2005 because he’s known me since then, and he’s tried several means to get my attention. Even though it didn’t happen, he kept trying and recently, a friend introduced us and we hit it off. He’s a very quiet and private person, and someone who loves and understands what I do. He loves entertainment too, I won’t say more than that for now…’
The couple’s friends are already picking the traditional Aso Ebi.
The first of two girls, Princess’ only other sibling Yemisi also got married few months back.

Chris Brown hails Wizkid & Azonto on BET’s 106 & Park

In Chris Brown’s latest interview on BET’s 106 & Park, he talks music as well as a dance step (Azonto) that Wizkid taught him. He also said Wizkid was an incredible artiste. He also credits the Azonto dance to Nigeria (although its origin is Ghana).

Chris Ihidero Unedited: Man Talk, Woman Talk…(1)

Baby, what’s with ‘stronging’ your face this morning now? Is something wrong?’
‘Leave me alone. What does it matter whether something is wrong or not? Do you care?’
‘Of course I care, what do you mean by that? O ya, sorry. But what have I done this time?’
‘It’s more like what you haven’t done, despite my pleas for over a week now!’
‘Ah, you have been asking me for something for over a week now and I haven’t given it to you? What! My own baby, I am so sorry. I must have forgotten. Please ask again so I can give it to you here and now!’
‘You are making fun of me, abi? You think this is funny? I’m not talking to you again.’
‘Ah ah now, don’t be like that. I’m truly sorry. You know it’s been a busy week. Tell me now…’
‘Yes now, you have been too busy to give your wife some TLC. Of course your work is more important than me, sebi I have always said so.’
‘Huh, TLC? Baby but we made love last night now?
‘Who is talking about that one? Why do you men always equate sex with romance? Someone is talking about one thing, you are talking about another thing.’
‘So, lovemaking does not qualify as TLC? What is it then, manual labour?!’
‘I don’t know for you o. Me I have sha said my own. When I start my own nobody should say anything o.’
‘O ya sorry. So, what exactly am I supposed to be doing since lovemaking no longer qualifies as TLC?’
‘That you even have to ask is a problem. What happened to you? This is not the man I married. And this marriage is not even 3 years old and you have lost it.’
‘I shall find it again it you’ll be kind enough to just tell me what exactly I’m supposed to do. Believe me, I am capable of relearning.’
‘Who taught you all the things you were doing when you were toasting me? Who taught you all the things you did when we were dating, before you proposed and we got married?’
‘Ah, that’s a different scenario altogether. You see, a hunter does not treat a game in pursuit the same when he treats the game when captured.’
‘Oh, so I’m now bush meat, abi? This discussion is over!’
‘No o, it was just an analogy. Am I crazy in the head that I will call you bush meat? You, my own big baby, my fine girl small pimples with fine chicken legs, my own Oriaku, chopper of my money, the small but mighty thing that’s doing tirinrin taranran in my brain!’
‘Leave me alone. I’m not talking to you again .Oh ooo, stop tickling me. It’s not going to work this time. I’m serious. I’m not talking to you again.’
‘Baby now.’
‘Leave me jor. Was I the one who told you how to look deeply into my eyes and say I Love You with a sweet whisper? Was I the one who taught you how to do that silly Igbo war dance that used to make me laugh really hard? How come you have forgotten how to call me 5 times a day when you’re away? When was the last time you sent me a lovely text except when to ask what’s for dinner? Where’s the last card you bought for me? I even have to practically beg for a hug every morning when you go out. When last did we share a deep kiss unless as prelude to sex, ehn, when last? I don’t even know what a forehead kiss feels like anymore…and I used to really like that. Less than 3 years and romance has gone out of the door…I wonder what’s next.’
‘Wow!
‘Is that all you’re going to say?’
‘Wow! Wow!! Wow!!! I actually don’t know what to say, can’t you tell?’
‘Good! Because it would be great to have less talk and more action in this house, for once.’
‘Oh, so now you are throwing stones, abi? O ya, come and take non-prelude-to-sex-just for-kisssake-mindblowing-knockyouoffyourfeet-kiss. Let me plant it squarely inside your throat and show you who’s the man!’
‘Gosh, you can be so ANNOYING!’
‘But you love me so, right?’
‘Unfortunately.’
‘Gbam! I’m your cross and you shall bear me.’
‘Chineke biko yelu m aka kam yali ikuwa isi nwoke aofu nbosi! [God please help me, let me not break this man’s head one day!]
‘Amen.’

Psquare’s ‘Alingo’ Still Rides High On The MTV Base Official Naija Top 10

2face‘s ‘Ihe Neme‘ continues to put pressure on Psquare, holding steady at number two, while Phyno Ft Olamide – ‘Ghostmode‘ continues its steady progress up the chart, moving up one place to number three, replacing Banky W‘s ‘Yes/No‘, which slips one place to number four.
Davido‘s ‘Gobe‘ is this week’s only new entry, while this week’s biggest climber is Lynxxx with ‘Ezioku‘ which has jumped from number 9 to number 5, replacing Ice Prince‘s ‘More‘ which slips to sixth place. The only other climber is Olamide with ‘First Of All‘, which inches from number 10 to number 9.

The fourth episode 4 the Official Naija Top 10 premiered on the MTV Base block on NTA on Friday 29 March, and can be seen on MTV Base (DStv Channel 322) on Tuesday 2 April @22.00 WAT, on AIT on Tuesday 2 April @ 21.30 WAT and STV: Thursday 4 April @ 18.00 WAT. Next week’s chart will be released on Friday 5 April on NTA @ 23.30 WAT. Joining host Ehis (@SpecialSlim) in the Official Naija Top 10 studio this week’s is special guest and this week’s highest climber, Lynxxx (@Chukie_lynxxx), who’s riding high at number 5 with ‘Ezioku’.
The Official Naija Chart is decided by an elite judging panel of Nigerian broadcasters, music specialists and tastemakers put together by MTV Base including DJ Jimmy Jatt, DJ Xclusive (Cool FM), DJ Humility (Cool FM), Big Time (Rhythm FM), DJ Case (The Beat FM), Toolz (The Beat FM), Bella Naija music editor Onos Ariyo, and Osagie Alonge of Nigerian Entertainment Today

With N24m Cash Prize, X Factor Nigeria Seeks To Outshine Nigerian Idol, Project Fame, Others

After successfully making history in several countries around the world, the reality show makes a stop in Nigeria courtesy of Rotimi Pedro’s Optima Media Group (OMG). The show debuts in an amazingly big way with a startling package never before seen in the history of reality TV show in Nigeria.
Not only is the reality show promising a 24million cash prize, the winner gets to sign a record deal with the prestigious American record company, Sony Music and a whole lot of other goodies.
We could not immediately confirm if it’s a worldwide deal or a contract for the African market, but this will mark the first time any music talent show is promising to sign winners to an international label, since the scandal of Timi Dakolo and West African Idol (2007).
As in the tradition of the show, the winner takes it all…Whereas in the UK, the winner of the X-Factor is awarded a £1m (N250million) with a recording contract with Syco Music in association with Sony Music, the show in the US awards the winner of the competition a recording contract with Syco Music in association with Sony Music Entertainment plus a cash payment totaling $5million (N790million). Other highly placed contestants may also be offered recording deals, but this is not guaranteed
But compared to other talent shows in Nigeria, the N24million prize money for X Factor Nigeria will be the highest that has ever been offered by any music reality show in Nigeria. And pundits say it is expected that contestants, fans, media and audiences will give the new talent show more than enough attention, even as Idols and Project Fame will have to up their game or suffer relegation.
While the winner of MTN Project Fames takes home N2.5million including a RAV4 automobile, Nigerian Idol winner goes home with N7.5million plus a recording contract worth N7.5million as well. For Glo Naija Sings, which is now rested, it is N16million naira and a Toyota RAV4 (An insider tells NET that Globacom has also ceased its sponsorship of Naija Sings); Nigeria’s Got Talent, N10million; Star Quest, N7.5million recording contract and N3.6million in cash to be shared by the members of the winning band.
The full detail of X Factor show has not yet been revealed, but Glo announced its sponsorship of the show, which is being promoted by Optima Media Group last Wednesday during the weekly Industry Nite at GET Arena in Lagos.
In 2011, OMG brought their first reality show franchise ‘Nigerian Idol’ (the local version of the Idol franchise), and in the following year, birthed the ‘Nigeria’s Got Talent’ show. .
Selection of judges, hosts and other pre-kick off elements are now being concluded, with insiders saying a full announcement should be made next week.
The Industry Nite celebration featured performances by Niyola, Burna Boy, Phyno and UK-based Nigerian singer, L Marshal, while the Nollywood industry was represented by Glo ambassadors Ini Edo, Desmond Elliot and Funke Akindele

Rapper Wale To Feature Wizkid On New Album

Nigerian-born rapper Wale says Wizkid will feature on his forthcoming album ‘The Gifted’ scheduled for release on June 25, 2013.
The Maybach Music Group rapper revealed this a few weeks ago on Twitter while dropping some hints on how his new album would sound.
‘Best believe I got some new music for that green white green on my new album.. Ask @wizkidayo‘, @Wale wrote.
A few weeks before that Wale had expressed Wizzy as his favourite African artiste.
The pair must have spent quite some time in the studio last year; Wizkid also disclosed in an interview with OK! Magazine that he had enlisted Wale on his upcoming mixtape.

Nigerian Banks To Spend Billions On Entertainment

Nigerian Banks To Spend Billions On Entertainment

For many years, it was the abandoned child. But now, Nigeria’s entertainment sector is getting more than enough attention from left, right and centre.
Still without the necessary stuctures, and a system that can help it exploit opening opportunities, the entertainment scene is grabbing a huge share in marketing budgets, as many big spenders continue to realise the importance of using fashion, music, movies and the power of celebrity, to reach customers in different segments, especially the youth demography.
Telecoms companies like MTN, Etisalat, Globacom and Airtel have long perfected a profitable relationship with entertainment; same for FMCG companies like Unilever, NB PLC, Guinness, Coca Cola and Pepsi. But there are new entrants – the banks – warming up to play on a bigger scale and rip all the dividends on offer.
According to investigations by Nigerian Entertainment Today, 2013 total spend on the sector, by the banking industry – a sector that’s just beginning to open up its wallets to entertainment -will be in billions of Naira.
The relationship between corporate Nigeria and advertising has moved from buying sponsorship or advert slots on shows and programmes, to property acquisitions, title sponsorships, and brand generated initiatives.
So, gone are the days of Benson & Hedges concerts, Sunday Rendezvous (Sponsored by Coca-Cola Nigeria), and all the primetime TV adverts more popular than the national anthem (remember ‘Joy Girl’?).
When the private telecoms companies arrived in the early 2000s, they immediately spotted new opportunities and went full throttle; throwing sponsorship and endorsement deals (worth hundreds of millions) not just to music shows and entertainment establishments but also to individuals – while the likes of MTN rolled out with big budget tours in school campuses and towns, GLO handpicked those they believed were influential entertainers and made them brand ambassadors.
‘It’s a fantastic strategy; while one was beaming through local towns, the other got entertainers with strong appeal to do the talking for them’, Sola Fanawopo, a Public Relations and Communications experts says.
‘Entertainment is the ‘new bride’, the bride that will never get stale or fade’, Fanawopo adds. ‘There are endless possibilities and too many strategies that can be developed and deployed around the entertainment sector’.
Well, there’s a new suitor in town. In search of new markets and determined to build a good base in a country that’s increasingly supporting local talents in music, films and fashion, Nigerian Banks appear ready to put their money where their mouth is – working with consultants, in house teams, and executive policy directions to understand the entertainment sector, with a view to exploiting inherent opportunities.
Nollywood, one of the biggest movie industries in the world, has become the preferred means of home entertainment for many Nigerians, as seen in the success of Africa Magic and productions like Jenifa; while the success locally and internationally, of acts like D’banj, Psquare, Wizkid, Davido, and their contemporaries continues to show the power of urbane culture and pop music on young Nigerians scattered across the world. The banks are increasingly interested in speaking to these young people, and the realization is clear: the language they understand is the language of social media, the langiage of entertainment, of everything hip and trendy.
‘It’s simple, we’ve noticed that the best way to reach the Nigerian youth in this time and generation is through entertainment. They are locked on entertainment – from music, to movies, theatre, cutting through some areas of sports and merchandising’, a strategy officer at a top Nigerian bank told NET over the weekend.
Taking the front row is Guaranty Trust Bank. Under the leadership of the late Tayo Aderinokun, the bank seemed to have understood early enough how the entertainment industry runs. So in early 2012, they launched Ndani TV, the entertainment hub which showcases music (Ndani Sessions, The Juice with Toolz), movies (Gidi TV), Fashion (Fashion Insider), African business starters (Young CEOs) and more. Setting up this has put them in the lead, and many agree that most young Nigerians believe GTBank is the most entertainment-friendly bank around.
Sponsoring events such as D’banj’s 2012 Koko Concert has also helped. Sources say the bank is planning more events sponsorship for the year, with some deals already sealed. (Don’t forget that extravagant Ndani TV advertisement on the back of D’banj’s T-Shirt during his performance at the closing ceremony of the African Cup of Nations finals in February.)
Diamond Bank which recently rebranded appears to have also discovered the benefits of associating with entertainment. With eyes fixed on the youth segment, insiders say Diamond is adopting entertainment as a major marketing tool, with Nollywood, Media and Music key areas of interest. The company has already sponsored the 2012 movie ‘Last Flight to Abuja’ as well as the recent inaugural Social Media Week Lagos and Maxwell’s Valentine concert (both in February 2013).
Diamond Bank is currently working on two big projects also worth millions – first off is the upcoming ‘Divas Rock’ concert which will host US based 90s rap duo Salt-N-Pepa as headliners. The other is the upcoming Copyright Society of Nigeria (COSON) project which will see Diamond Bank setting up small scale entertainment hubs around Lagos.
And we’ve confirmed from those who know, that they’re also working on Diamond bank entertainment properties to cut across TV, online and music.
The trend continues with Africa’s pioneer money house – First Bank. The respected bank which had positioned itself as a big supporter of the theatre (remember Umoja in 2012?) is now embracing mainstream and pop projects, identifying with events like the Lagos Fashion Week, Gbenga Adeyinka’s ‘Laffmattazz with Gbenga Adeyinka D 1st and Friends: The Home Coming’ and Darey’s N300m ‘Love Like a Movie’ music concert.
Analysts say it is only natural for other banks like Zenith, Skye and Access bank to follow. Some, like Access, are actually in already, with the 2012 Nickelodeon/Dora partnership and a shift in policy, according to insiders, that allows the management freedom to exploit opportunities entertainment platforms may present.
And from Nollywood to the music scene and beyond, practitioners are aware of this sudden love – and they’re keen, according to those who spoke with NET, to exploit it to the benefit of the industry.